Still Here

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I'm still here, I promise.  

I'm just out of exciting things to write.

Here is my life lately: work, work, run, work, 4.5 hour drive to Oklahoma, hospital, too-quick weekend with family, hospital, 4.5 hour drive to Kansas, run, work, work, work.  You get the idea.

Let's be honest.  Normal life is just, well... normal.  

That brilliant dissertation I'm creating?  Hasn't been touched since early November.  Not one interview or article read or single word transcribed.  The combination of increasing work loads and holidays and family and hospitals got the better of me.  Maybe this spring?  Perhaps the summer?  One day in the distant future?  True story: it never seemed hard until I left my cozy little Upper West Side life of constant library access and advisor chats and working three-quarters time.  I, embarrassingly, did not think Ivy League life was all that difficult.  I am good at school.  I am not quite as good as things that aren't school.  And now, the dissertation sits untouched on the desk I oh-so-inspirationally drove cross country in an act of holding on tight to my first New York home.  

Life in Kansas looks a whole lot like this... 

...except for that one time it looked like this...

...and I totally love my job.  For real.  Even though it's super overwhelming and contains way more work than I'm able to do in any given day.  Love it a bunch.  But it's not everything.  So I live for the weekends driving down I-35 with Baby Sister and daydream about sunny days at the Boat Basin and Riverside Park runs and normal life kinds of views... 

And I run.

A lot, apparently.  

Blame it on the stress or boredom or just needing to do one tiny thing for myself... I jumped on the half-marathon bandwagon.  Five years of running week one of the Couch to 5K training app finally paid off.  And these two runner friends of mine in Manhattan finally convinced me that I could, in fact, do it.  So three times a week, I lace up my way-too-expensive running shoes and head out to add mileage and speed in an attempt to focus on something manageable.  When did 13.1 miles become "manageable"???  

So I'm currently up to four miles in 46 minutes.  That's still a lot of miles left to go.  Good thing I have 14 weeks to make it happen.  I'll keep you updated.  Because somewhere along the way, I became one of those people who thinks best on a long, chilly run.  Who imagines the finish line, passes the miles in between, and rests in the words of a peace-filled memorial to the spirit of a city...

...our deeply rooted faith sustains us.