Homeless in Kansas

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

You know that whole, "there's no place like home" Wizard of Oz reference to the great state of Kansas.  Well, in my case, there just might not be a home in Kansas.

Who knew finding a place to live in Kansas, America was so difficult?

If you weren't aware, New York apartment hunting is a nightmare.  People sell their first-born children for first dibs on a great space.  It is a cut-throat competition worthy of The Hunger Games.  By the time great apartments are posted on any real estate website, they are already gone.  If you watch any of the HGTV Selling New York type shows, you know that the ones still on the market usually have something wrong with them.  Often that something wrong is a multimillion dollar price tag.  I would have no housing problems in New York City if I had ten million dollars.

Remember the Friends episode when Ross befriends Ugly Naked Guy just to win the apartment?  Or the one where he speaks Dutch to the old lady's family when she might have died?  And let's not forget the whole apartment-betting situation and the lengths Monica and Rachel attempt to get their beautiful (totally realistic) apartment back from Joey and Chandler.  And don't even get me started on the How I Met Your Mother dowisetrepla episode.  The very first apartment I saw in New York (at 21 years old) involved a broker, a shower in the kitchen, and a $1,600 a month rent tag.  My current apartment is worth about $3,000 a month, which is obviously more money than I actually make.  Thank God for free rent in Manhattan.

So back to Kansas.  I stupidly assumed that home-hunting in the Wheat State would be no problem at all.  I won't be back in Lawrence before my move, so it all needed to happen digitally.  But here's the problem...Lawrence is a small-ish town with a lot of people needing apartments.  Of 82,000 residents, about 28,000 are students.  So apparently all these people signed leases early on, leaving New Yorker me a bit out of luck.  Also, I refuse to not have some sort of amenities.  I can no longer live without a washer and dryer.  My first love downtown loft was full until NEXT fall.  Lots of places available but not until mid-August...a problem when you start a job in July.  And on and on and on.

So I gave up on my dream of downtown living, instead applying for a 1300+ square feet townhome out in the burbs...which led to a House Hunters style bidding war.  After a week of negotiations, I gave up and started calling other places.  Scrambled to put together an application packet for that dream downtown loft that suddenly became available, only to find out after applying that they didn't actually have one.  Found out I got the townhome, then lost it again, then probably got it back.  So yes...I am thrilled to pay less than $1,000 for what would be a mansion in Manhattan.  But the is she/isn't she homeless in Kansas situation is pretty much hour by hour.

So stay tuned for updates.  In the mean time, I'm packing like crazy in the New York City "heat wave."  And by heat wave, I mean over 90 degrees three days in a row in Central Park.  Not actually so hot, but also not with an air conditioner.  Yikesabee.

And ironically, check out the sign that greeted me on my final trip into the office this week...


  1. are you renting or hoping to buy? I was confused. And when are you going to tell us WHAT this mysterious job is?? I want to know. badly. :)

  2. Will your blog still be "the ive project" after you move to the wheat state? the rock chalk report, the not-so-yellow brick road, the.........???